We made it!

My facebook post today 1/7/2012 was:

Today is the day our twins were supposed to be born....instead,

one is in heaven and the other is 3 1/2 months old and still in the

hospital!  It's crazy how things happen sometimes....and sometimes

I really don't understand why....but what I do know is that

my family is forever, miracles happen and I am blessed!

Today was actually a bittersweet day for me.  Ova picked up some overtime last night and my boys had their cousins Moses and Joey sleep over.  That meant it was just me and Tala all night.  I wanted to watch movies in my room with her, but she fell asleep really quick.  I turned my computer on and after surfing the internet a little bit, my phone buzzed....I had a message.  The message was a reminder that said 'Baby due today!'  I had put that reminder in my phone right after I found out what my due date would be, before I even knew they were twins.  Who would've known things would turn out the way they have.  I felt overwhelmed in that moment and I just sat there crying to myself.  I started thinking about what life would be like if baby Cindy was still here.  What would life be like if I didn't have any complications with my pregnancy and I had 2 healthy baby girls with me right now.  What would they look like, how much would they have weighed.....I had a lot of questions running through my mind.  Sad to say, I threw a little 'pity me' session and asked a lot of questions why.  Why did this have to happen to me?  Why couldn't my baby Cindy live?  Why did baby Katea have to be born so early?  So many questions why..... I wished Ova was home with me to comfort me and set me straight, but he wasn't here, so I had to do it myself.  I started thinking about what Ova would say if he were with me....he would have let me cry, he would have agreed with my wondering what life would be like if things happened differently...and we would have talked about it for a while....he would probably say something to make me laugh to lighten the mood....and then he would have reminded me that things turned out how they were supposed to...and just because we don't completely understand, doesn't mean we're bad people.  It was funny how I was totally able to comfort myself just thinking of what Ova would have done and how he would have reacted if he were with me at that moment.

That pity me session suddenly turned into a realization of how lucky and blessed we are that baby Katea is here....she's alive....and she's going to be ok.  I started to think of how tiny she was when she was born, and how far she has come.  All the obstacles she's had to face, and how she's been able to overcome all of them.  I started thinking of other babies who were born at the same gestation she was, who suffered many more complications with brain or heart issues...and even those who didn't make it.  I really am blessed!  I'm glad that Ova (or the thought of him) sets me straight and doesn't let me hang low for too long....because if I did, I'm sure I would have a whole different attitude and perspective on things.

Today was an exceptionally AWESOME day for baby Katea!  She made so much progress today, I am totally amazed! 

Yesterday they found out that what they thought was an NJ tube was really a NG tube.  The x-ray from a few days ago showed that the tube went through her stomach, made a loop, and went out of the stomach to her upper intestine.  They weren't able to see the exact placement or where the end of the tube landed, but they could see it was out of her stomach and that was all they wanted.  Her intestine still had quite a bit of the berium from the upper GI test...so they thought that they'd give her a couple days to get it all out and then they'd advance it a little further into her intestine and check it with an x-ray.  She finally was able to poop and get some of the berium out, so Charise tried to push the tube further.  They didn't schedule the x-ray to check the placement until the next morning (which was yesterday morning)  The x-ray showed that instead of the tube going further down her intestinal tract, it coiled up and the end was back inside her stomach.  She had been getting the continuous feed in her stomach instead of in her intestine for the last 24 hours.  The good thing was that they didn't even know it because she was still doing so well.  She wasn't refluxing and her Fi02 was actually a lot lower than it had been.  That's what they were planning on doing after the two weeks, to pull the tube up to her stomach...so it just happened a little earlier than planned.  They left it in her stomach and just watched how she reacted to it. 

Today when I woke up, I called the NICU to check on her.  Annica was her nurse today and she told me the awesome news that they were able to turn her oxygen down to 1 liter....which means no more high-flow!!  They switched her to a regular nasal canula, and she was doing so good!  Annica also told me that the NNP and the developmental specialist said that since she's been tolerating the feeding to her stomach again, and he oxygen was lower....I got to start breastfeeding today!  Yay!  They said only once a shift (twice a day) at first to see how she does...and then we'll go from there.  I was so excited!  BIG HUGE GIANT steps forward my baby girl made today and I am so proud of her!

When Ova and I got to the hospital today she was wide awake in her crib...she was looking up at the ceiling and as soon as I said "hi my princess" she turned her head towards me and opened her eyes super wide.  She knew we were there.  I took her out of her crib and kissed her for a minute and then let Ova have his turn.  We were saying "happy due date birthday, you made it" and telling her how proud we were of her for breathing so good and lowering her oxygen!  I tried nursing her but she only lasted like 1 minute before she fell asleep.  Annica said she had been awake for several hours before we got there so she was probably just tired.  I gave her back to Ova and they did what they always do when they spend quality time together.......sleep!  haha

During the break we just went and sat in the lobby....Meredith was her nurse tonight, so again she was spoiled to have primary nurses all day long!  :-)  She was sleeping when we got there at 730pm, but she started moving around at about 8pm.  We got up and did her cares and weighed her and made sure she was wide awake so I could try to nurse her again.  Tonight she weighed 3155 grams, which is 6lbs.15 1/2oz.  Only 1/2oz. more and she'll be 7lbs!  She actually did amazingly well for it being the first time to eat food through her mouth.  She latched on great and ate for 10 straight minutes...spacing her swallowing and breathing, and she didn't brady once.  We were all pretty impressed with her!  After all that action, she was super tired and knocked right out!  The plan now is to slowly change the continuous feedings back to bolus feedings every 3 hours and hope she can get them over 30 minutes instead of the 90 she was getting, and tomorrow I'll start stage 1 of the feeding process!  Today I feel like she made leaps and bounds forward....it was a great day of progress for her!  I'm so happy and proud of her and blessed!

Daddy giving her a high five for having such a great day!

We left the hospital tonight and she was sound asleep!

Sweet dreams baby girl, see you in the morning!