"Begin today and write in it your goings and comings, your deepest thoughts, your achievements and your failures, your associations and your triumphs, your impressions and your testimonies. I promise you that if you will keep your journals and records, they will indeed be a source of great inspiration to you, each other, your children, your grand-children and others throughout the generations. Remember, the Savior chastised those who failed to record important events." --President Spencer W. Kimball

January 23, 2012

Crossing my Fingers

This week is a BIG week for baby Katea and for our little family.

First off, my baby girl hit 8lbs!!  Can't believe she's gained almost 7lbs. in almost 4 months!  She's so chubby now, she has the fattest little cheeks (both ends) and her once chicken legs are filling in quite well!  We actually had to move her up to a size 1 diaper because she's getting so many rolls around her upper thighs!  haha  I was going through all the little keepsakes I kept for her since she's been born and I was trippin at the diapers I've kept....I just had to line them up to take a picture so you could see how big her little bum has gotten...lol!  And the biggest diaper in this picture is only a preemie diaper...she's grown out of newborn and is into size 1!!!

Wednesday is her next eye-exam....the results if her eyes are mature, mean she could come home!  If they are not....it's 2 more weeks for sure!  Crossing my fingers and praying for developed eyes!  Usually eyes are one of the last things to develop....since baby Katea was born so early, her eyes still haven't matured.  Since she'll have to go home on oxygen, we NEED her eyes to develop.  She cannot go home on oxygen if her eyes are not developed because high amounts of oxygen dialate and damage the blood vessels in the back of the eye and could cause blindness.  The oxygen she gets in the NICU is blended oxygen, the oxygen I will have to take her home with is 100% oxygen.  Please eyes, be developed!  As much as I love the NICU staff here, and especially the nurses......4 months is a LONG time to be in the hospital, and I just want to take my baby home!

Thursday is her 4 month birthday!  I can't believe it's been that long.  Honestly, it's gone by pretty quickly....but coming to the hospital every single day, sometimes twice a day is getting old, and I'm getting tired.  I just want to take my baby home!

Today when I got here, she was wide awake and super content laying in her crib.  She wasn't fussy at all, she was just looking around everywhere.  I picked her up to hold her and I talked to her for a little while.  She had more control of her eyes now, and sometimes I think she really sees me and is looking at me when I talk to her.  She was staring at the wall behind me and I was wondering what she was looking at.  I turned around to look and saw the posters we made of her brothers and sister.  She was looking at them.  I started talking to her about her brothers and sisters and telling her how they can't wait for her to come home.  The last time her brothers saw her, she was still in her incubator....it was back in November!  And her older sister hasn't even met her yet.  Lautala knows that I go to the hopsital everyday to see baby Katea, and she says her name whenever I show her pictures....but I don't think she realizes that it's her little sister and that she's coming home to be with us forever! 

The NNP today was Terri, she's so sweet and I love it when she's on because she's so positive and she ALWAYS takes time to come sit in the room with me for a little while, telling me what the plans are and how baby is doing.  Today she gave me some really good news!  She said that she had been calling around to see if they could send baby Katea home on 1 liter of oxygen.  Usually the protocol is that they have to be on less than 1/2 liter to go home....but baby still NEEDS 1 liter.....with anything less, she brady's and de-sats like crazy.  She was telling me that if she was only 2 months, they wouldn't even think about it, but she's 4 months old.  She'll do better at home....she'll grow better at home, so they got approval that IF.....and that's a BIG FAT IF.... her eyes are mature she can go home on 1 liter!  Wow, we're so close!  The only other thing that would keep her from going home is her bradicardic episodes.  She has to go 7 days, 1 full week without having any.  She just had one today.  :-(  I had the nurses check and unfortunatly she's never gone a full week without any.  She has gone 6 days, and then had one on the morning of the 7th day.  It's just another struggle we have to deal with.  Her eyes and her episodes are what's keeping her here at the hospital.  The good news is her episodes are few and farther between than before....so that's progress.....but 7 days is what we need!  Studies show that if a baby can go 7 days without any episodes, they usually won't have anymore.  7 days!

I love how loved my baby girl is!  It's really comforting to me to see how many people really care about her...how many nurses and RT's stop by her room just to see how she's doing, even if they're not assigned to take care of her.  I love it when I walk into her room and her nurse is holding her or playing on the floor mat with her.  She's such a good baby, she really never cries unless she's hungry....which is rare for a preemie who's been through so much trauma....I'm told that the majority of them are irritated and hard to calm.  Not my baby girl, she's such a good girl!  We've been in the NICU for a long time, and she's made so many friends!  I love it!  Just today while I was talking to Terri, Jen the developmental specialist walked in to check on her.  She sat and talked with me for a while and then she made a comment to baby Katea "you're so big, and so beautiful....if your mom wasn't here, I'd totally snuggle with you for a little bit".....I laughed and told her she could hold her.  It was so cute because I passed her to Jen and she snuggled her for a little bit while I just sat across from her.  She is so loved and I am so grateful!

People always ask me how I'm doing, and I'm hanging in there.  I'm tired, I won't lie, but I'm hanging in there.  My little miracle is amazing.  She's so strong and has so much fight.  I find my strength from her.  Thank you baby Katea for fighting so hard, for being so strong and for showing your mommy that everything is going to be ok!  I love you!  Crossing my fingers and toes that we'll get good news on Wednesday!

6 comments:

MARCIA said...

She is absolutely adorable. And I pray that she passes her eye exam so that she can go home. I admire the fight you have and the fight she has in her as well, I don't know if I could ever be as strong as you. But I'm "Crossing my fingers" for a positive test! Love ya

Kassie said...

I can't believe how little those diapers are! She is sooooo perfect.. i love her chubby cheeks! Can't wait to see her and hold her... praying for a good eye test!! :)

ANNA BANANA said...

I'll be crossing my fingers for u too (: I can't even believe where she was to where she's at now...such a strong willed lil fighter. Much love

Tina Tuakoi said...

I love her chubby cheeks and head full of hair. She is beautiful! We will keep our fingers crossdd too :)

Sheena Tuakoi said...

She is so adorable!! Yay for hitting 8lbs. Such a little fighter! Hoping you guys get to take her cute little self, home soon! Xoxo.. :)

shaunita said...

I can't get over those cheeks! Sooooo cute. No wonder your girls like to stare in the mirror! :) Good luck with the eye exam.