"Begin today and write in it your goings and comings, your deepest thoughts, your achievements and your failures, your associations and your triumphs, your impressions and your testimonies. I promise you that if you will keep your journals and records, they will indeed be a source of great inspiration to you, each other, your children, your grand-children and others throughout the generations. Remember, the Savior chastised those who failed to record important events." --President Spencer W. Kimball

September 26, 2012

Happy Birthday my little Miracle!

Baby slept really good for a couple hours, but when the nurse came in to do her vitals, she startled her and baby started coughing.  She coughed and coughed and coughed for like 10 minutes straight.  Her sats obviously dropped way down so they turned her up to 8L @ 100%, but that didn't make a difference.  Her sats kept dropping and dropping and it went as low as 53, so they had to bag her to bring her back up.  :'(  It took her a really long time to recover from that and they had her on the very highest setting for high flow and she was still only satting 84-87%....so they had to move her to the CPAP.  She just couldn't do it, she needed the pressure to help her keep her lungs open.  That broke my heart.  That was the first time since the NICU that she has needed that much help.  And even though we had already been in the hospital for 5 days, she was not showing any signs of improvement at all.

Baby girl back on CPAP

On the CPAP, they were able to turn her back down to 6L and a 45% fio2.  She's starving because they won't let her eat.....she does have the IV fluids running in her, but that's not satisfying her.....she's so grabby and feisty and mad at the big mask that has taken over her face.  She wouldn't calm down so they're keeping her sedated.  She's completely out of it.

Today is September 26th.....her actual birthday!
As I look back on this past year, I can't help but thank my Heavenly Father for her.  She has been through so much for such a little person, but she's so amazing!  Her personality, her fight, her strength, her cute little face, her big brown eyes, everything about her is a blessing to me.  I have been through a lot right along with her, but she makes be a better and stronger person.  She's definitely my little hero!  This is not the way I wanted to celebrater her birthday, but I am so glad that she's such a fighter!

The social worker in the PICU found out that it was her birthday and she made her this cute birthday sign and gave her this stuffed goat from Hunchback of Notre Dame.   

Aunty Tina came and visited and spent most of the day with me while baby was sedated and sleeping.  And then that afternoon, Grampa Kina came and brought me lunch and spent some time with us.  She woke up a little when he was there and it was so cute....he stood over the side of his bed and she reached for him so he picked her up....tubes, equipement and all!

She stayed on the CPAP all day, and they kept her pretty sedated.  I was lucky enough to be in one of the two PICU rooms that had a couch bed instead of just a chair.  I stayed by her side the whole time.  I hated that she had to be sedated, but they could not bring a hospital bed into that room, so it was a good thing she was out of it so that she could get some rest.  She didn't really make any progress for good or bad that day, she just remained about the same. 

My mom came up and spent the afternoon with me and then Tea brought the rest of my kids up that night to visit.  They came with birthday hats and all.  Tala girl brought her a stuffed unicorn for her birthday and she totally made me laugh. 
Me:  Tala, what's his name?
Tala:  Cake
Me:  His name is cake?
Tala:  Yes mom, look at the candle (pointing to his horn)
Thanks Tala girl, I needed that laugh today....you little smarty pants!  :)

The kids got to come into her room to sing Happy Birthday to her....she woke up a little bit to hear them sing to her!

One year ago today was the scariest day of my life, but it was also one of my most blessed!  This little miracle was given to me and I've never been the same since.  She's amazing, I say it all the time....and it's true!  Thank you so much for all your prayers, thoughts, comments, and all your love and support!  She's in the ICU right now on a breathing machine.......and I've been crying all day long, but not for her.  I found out today that her little NICU buddy became and angel today.  :'(  No matter how hard your think your situation is, someone else's is worse.  Hold your loved ones tight and be grateful for what and who you've been blessed with.  My heart aches for little Luke's family.  It's your birthday today my little miracle and it's a happy one because you're still here with me!  I love you baby Katea!

1 comment:

Heather and Kevin said...

I'm so sorry she is having such a rough time. One whole year! wow, that has gone by so fast. She is a fighter and inspiration to us all :)