"Begin today and write in it your goings and comings, your deepest thoughts, your achievements and your failures, your associations and your triumphs, your impressions and your testimonies. I promise you that if you will keep your journals and records, they will indeed be a source of great inspiration to you, each other, your children, your grand-children and others throughout the generations. Remember, the Savior chastised those who failed to record important events." --President Spencer W. Kimball

April 14, 2013

Prayers for Ma please!

This beautiful woman gave us another scare this week.  I feel so bad for her.  She's been having the same problems with the pain in her legs that she's been having for years.  She's had 6 surgeries already trying to fix the problem and it's just not working.  The blood thinners aren't working and her legs are just clotting.  The doctors told us when we took her in last time that her heart wasn't functioning at 100% so that's why the blood was having a hard time flowing and circulating through her legs.  She wasn't given many options except to amputate her legs, which she wasn't going to do....have the same surgery AGAIN for the 7th time and hope it worked this time, or just keep her on pain meds and try to control the pain.  She stopped walking a while ago because it was just too painful for her.  Her poor legs.  Her poor body.  It makes me so sad to see her like this and it breaks my heart that she's in pain all the time, I wish I could do something to make it better. 

After the last doctors appointment, she was given the same options again.  She didn't want to make the decision right then, so they came home and she talked to Tea and Ova about it.  She decided she was done.  She was done with the surgeries that obviously weren't working, she was done with being given the option to cut her legs off because that wasn't going to happen and she was done going to the doctor all together.  She told Ova and Tea that she's old, she's tired and she really misses her husband.  She's said that for a long time, but this time was different.  She had made up her mind, she was done!  She told Tea to schedule her one last appointment and that would be her last one. 

Tea set the appointment and took her in.  I cried when they got home.  Ma didn't want the appointment for the doctor check on her again because she already knew what was going on.  She wanted the appointment to tell her Doctor thank you for taking care of her for so many years, and to tell him goodbye.  To tell him that she was done and that she wasn't going to be going in anymore.  It took so much out of her and was so painful to go that she just didn't want to go anymore. 

Her doctor is actually Elder Wirthlin's son and he broke down when Tea translated the message to him.  He was crying, but he understood.  He thanked her for her beautiful spirit....they never communicated except through Tea, but he could feel her spirit and her pain.  He totally understood why she didn't want to come anymore and he agreed.  He told them that he would do everything he could to help her out with her pain and keeping up on her medication to help give her relief and he told his nurse that if Tea ever called, no matter what he was doing, to give him the message so he could get in touch with them.  Tea was telling me how sad it was when they left....Dr Wirthlin hugging Ma and crying and Ma crying and saying thank you over and over again.  Breaks my heart.

That's the plan for now.  Just to keep her as comfortable as we can.  I hate to see her like this.  I hate to see her in so much pain all the time.  I hate that she's now bed ridden and can't even walk to the bathroom anymore.  Getting old sucks, especially when it happens to someone you love so much.  I love Ma with all my heart, she is such a blessing to my life.  Please please please pray for peace and comfort for my dear sweet Ma!

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