"Begin today and write in it your goings and comings, your deepest thoughts, your achievements and your failures, your associations and your triumphs, your impressions and your testimonies. I promise you that if you will keep your journals and records, they will indeed be a source of great inspiration to you, each other, your children, your grand-children and others throughout the generations. Remember, the Savior chastised those who failed to record important events." --President Spencer W. Kimball

August 12, 2012

Hospital again :(

So baby Katea and I are posted back in the hospital.  :(  We've been here since Thursday night, and it's Sunday now.  Poor baby girl.  Lautala has had a cough and runny nose for a few days, and we've been trying to keep her away from baby Katea.....but yeah right!  Anyone who has little kids, specifically a 2 year old, mama-wanna-be, know it all....knows that that is NOT possible.  Lautala just loves her baby sister....LOVES her!  She's constantly hugging and kissing on her....so to tell her to stop was a big yeah right!  I walked into the living room on Wednesday and saw baby Katea laying on the floor playing with her toys....gramma Tea was sleeping on the couch and Lautala was on top of baby, strattling her kissing her on the mouth.  As soon as I saw that I yelled "get away from her".....Lautala looked at me scared, jumped off her and ran away crying.  I felt bad, because that was a pretty harsh sudden reaction....I mean, Lautala is two years old, she doesn't understand that she's getting baby sick, she only knows she loves her sister and she was giving her loves.  I called Lautala back and told her I was sorry for yelling at her and I explained that she can't kiss baby right now because she was sick and if she kissed baby, she would get her sick and baby would have to go to the hospital.  Tala kept saying "sorry baby" with the saddest little voice and facial expression.  Sad.

By that night baby already had a cough.  It wasn't too bad, and her breathing didn't seem to be affected, so I was hoping it would just pass.  No such luck.  She slept through the night just fine, and even on Thursday during the day she seemed fine....she would cough a little here and there, but she was still her happy self.  Then Thursday night came and her cough started getting worse.  She didn't have a fever, but she looked like she was working really hard to breathe....I gave her the flow vent that she gets everyday, along with a couple puffs of albuterol in hopes that she wouldn't have to work so hard to breathe.....usually those two things make a huge difference and help her so much,  but they didn't seem to be working.  I still have all her oxygen tanks, and the monitor from when she was on oxygen.  She hasn't needed to use them for almost 2 months now, but her pediatrician suggested I keep them around just in case.  Well, I didn't have any foot sensors for the monitor....I had used them all and didn't order any more because she hasn't needed them.  It was driving me crazy that I had the monitor right there, but couldn't use it.......and I even tore up my whole room hoping to find one hidden somewhere with no luck.  Ova and I watched her for a little while and she just seemed to be getting worse.  She was so tired, but couldn't sleep....so she was in that out-of-it stage and she was moaning.  It was so sad.  I decided to bring her in to make sure she was ok.

I just brought her to the Riverton ER, and it was a good thing I did.  As soon as they put the monitor on her, she was satting in the 70's, so they hurried and put oxygen on her....and turned it up to 1 liter.  They checked her vitals, got her weight and measurements, had the on-call pediatrician come in and ask me a million questions about her medical history and then decided right then that they were going to admit her.  I was bummed, but honestly I knew that was coming.  She's just an extra fragile case, especially with her lung disease....so with the need for oxygen, I knew they were gonna make her stay.  I was thinking it would only be for 24 hours though, not several days.  Thankfully the Riverton hospital has its own branch of Primary Children's hospital....so they admitted her here.  I wish I would have known that back in February when we went to Primarys....cause I would have just brought her here.  Private rooms, not as crowded, newer, cleaner.......at least I know from now on :)  They swabbed her mouth so they could test to see if she had RSV or any of the other viruses out there....and it came back negative for all the viruses they test for, but the doctor told me that even though it came back negative, she knows baby has a virus.  She wanted to just keep us overnight to make sure baby didn't get any worse, and if she didn't then we could have went home the next morning.  Good thing we stayed because baby got SO MUCH WORSE!  She got a fever, which she didn't have before....she started to sound congested, and she didn't before....she would throw-up from coughing because of all the flem in her throat.....sad, sad, sad.  They came in to do their exam on her and we found out that she's breaking 3 teeth on the top....and she has a mild ear infection in her left ear.  So everything was hitting her at once....poor girl :(

She was so tired, but she wouldn't let herself sleep....she would just lay there all lathargic and cry/moan.  She just wanted me to hold her....so I did, all night.  I was so tired too because I hadn't slept yet, so everytime she'd fall asleep in my arms....I would try to lay her in her crib and she would wake right up crying...that continued pretty much all night....she'd only sleep in 5-10 minute intervals....all night long.  She only stopped crying when I would hold her.  Finally they just took the crib out and brought a hospital bed in our room so I could sleep with her.  That was the best idea ever!  She was happy that I was right by her, and was finally able to let herself sleep....and I was able to sleep too and we both slept all night! 

The next morning was her worst day.  Added on to everything that was going on with her before, she now had diarrhea from the antibiotics (she's allergic) and a completely raw little bum.  Thankfully they kept up on her tylenol and ibuprofen and so she didn't fever too bad, so she pretty much slept all day long.  They would come wake her up to suction her and give her albuterol treatments....and then she'd go right back to sleep.  Her breathing was horrible...she was breathing really fast, like 72 breaths a minute...and she was retracting...even after the albuterol treatments, so they ended up turning her oxygen up to 3 liters...and even with the 3 liters, she was satting 89-91.  I cried about that because that was a HUGE step backwards.  They had to go and get the water to humidify the oxygen because the flow was so high that without it, it would have dried out her little nose.  I just couldn't get over the 3 liters, she hasn't needed that much help since she was back in the NICU.  They slowly tried to wein the flow down throughout the day, but she didn't really tolerate it very well.  Right now she's on 1/2 liter of oxygen and she's satting in the high 80's.  She needed over 1 liter for almost 24 hours.  :(

I had a breakdown...and a little pity-me session while baby was sleeping.  I was just feeling really overwhelmed with everything we've been faced with lately, and feeling really lonely.  Ova can't move...he's in pain constantly...nobody knows what's wrong with him and he's been bed ridden for going on 3 months now.  I'm clingy and I need him....but he can't be there for me.  That, and the reality that I was going to be living in the hospital again for who knows how long, just got to me.  I cried for a long time to myself.  Just wondering why.  But then I realized that it's not always going to be like this.  Baby is going to grow and get stronger....she already has, so much.....and hopefully we're going to find out what's wrong with Ova, and fix it.  I guess I need these little trials in my life to keep me grounded and to help me realize how blessed I really am.  I have beautiful children, a loving husband....my miracle baby who comes out stronger with everything she's had to go through....a loving family.....a guardian angel......and so much more.  The good always outweighs the bad if I just take time to look for it.  I am blessed.  I am grateful.

Baby started feeling a little better today so I gave her a bath and cleaned her up....look how cute she looks in her hospital gown!  :)  That's my little miracle!

Fingers crossed we can go home tomorrow!


Heather and Kevin said...

poor little girl :( I hope she feels better soon. You are such a strong mama. You have a lot on your plate, but the outside looking in, you look like you are doing such a great job!

Chloe Smith said...

I'm so sorry! You have every right to have a meltdown, but you choose to stay positive. That's amazing. I sure hope baby gets better fast and your other kiddos get the yuckies gone too. Im sorry for Ova. May the lord watch over you and your family right now.

Melissa said...

Oh Monica! I am so sorry to hear about what has been happening. I have been away for awhile. Did she have RSV? We went through something really similar when my son Andrew had RSV. We were in the hospital for 9 days. Crazy, scary stuff.
Yes, she is a huge miracle and this too will all pass, but I understand you when you are so sad and lonely. I have been there and felt all of that. Please call me!!!! I will talk and listen to you. Do I need to come down and help take care of you too? You need some much needed rest too dear!
Let me know. I would love to help out! I sure love you and we are praying for Katea!!!!!

Morgan Rashid said...

I'm sooooo sorry to hear that you had to be admitted to the hospital :( I would have had a complete meltdown too. At least you know shes where she needs to be and shes being looked after. There is definitely some yucky virus going around. My little Isabel has had a runny/congested nose going on a little over 2 weeks now. Its soooo sad to see them suffer :( I'm praying for you and hoping Katea gets better soon! and p.s. she looks ADORABLE in her little hospital gown :)

Anonymous said...

Oh no! I hope she is feeling better soon. So hard on a mama's heart to see them so sick. :( Sending prayers your way!