Brotherly Love

I asked Makai to watch baby Katea for a little while so I could finish cleaning my room.  I walked out to check on them about an hour later because I couldn't hear them at all, and this is what I found.  What a good older brother!  He's such a good helper to me and I appreciate him so much! 

Neonatal Follow-up - 1 year

Today was baby Katea's second Neonatal follow-up appointment and it was so much different than the first time around!  I knew it would last a little longer because since she's older now, I knew she would have to meet with more doctors than she did last time.....but man, it lasted all day long!  Makai was off track so I asked him to come and help me out....he's such a good helper!  We got to the appointment at 8am....we were the first ones there (as far as other preemies, because they schedule everyone at the same time and just rotate the kids through the doctors) and we seriously were the last ones to leave at almost 5pm.  Poor Makai was starving because I didn't even pack any snacks or anything for us.

Katea's going to be part of this program until she's 4, and they'll check up on her every year.  She was 7 months old the first time we went and she was doing amazingly well.  She was growing like they wanted and she was doing some of the things that babies her age should have been doing....like following things with her eyes and reaching for toys.  Her ROP had resolved and she passed her hearing test.  Those were the positives from the first visit and of course we learned about a few areas where she's a little bit delayed, which is expected for preemies....so I wasn't worried.  She was still on oxygen 24-7 then and it was that appointment that they determined that she needed to see a pulmonologist.  This appointment was just a follow-up to that first appointment and they wanted to track her progress and see where she stands right now.

The first doctor that we met with was the occupational therapist.  He had a bunch of toys and things and he was testing to see what she was going to do with them.  He was really impressed with her, how she grabbed and held on to things, she used both hands....she brought everything to her mouth....when he gave her a cup, she grabbed it by the handle instead of the big part of the cup.  He liked how she was sitting up by herself, and how she was clapping....and how interactive she was with me and Makai, smiling and laughing.  He said that she was right on track with her adjusted age when it came to fine motor skills.  That means that she really should only be 8 months old, and as far as her fine motor skills, she was right on track!  Yay!  He was a little concerned at her lack of movement.  She can sit up unassisted, and she can roll everywhere but she's not crawling, or even trying yet....and in fact, when she's laying on her stomach, she doesn't even push her self all the way up with her arms straight yet.  He said she's really behind with gross motor skills.  I take that information with a grain of salt because I don't know how much of that delay is from her being a preemie, and how much is just her genes.  None of my other kids started crawling until really late, like 10-11 months and none of them walked until they were 15 months.....so I don't really care if she's a little behind.....if she's delayed from being a preemie AND delayed from her genetics, she may not crawl until she's 15 months and walk until she's 2 LOL, but that's ok by me.  I'll fua her everywhere!  :)  I know she'll do it when she's ready...I don't see the rush in pushing her right now.

After the occupationaly therapsit, we saw the eye doctor.  They actually just took us back to put drops in her eyes to dialate and numb them so they could do their exam...then they sent us back to the waiting room.  We were there for like 20 minutes and then they took us back...but her eyes weren't completely dialated yet so they had to put more drops in and make us wait again.   Once they were dialated, they did the exam on her.  They didn't have to pop her eyes out like they did when she was little....he just shined a light on her eyes and said that he could see the blood vessels and veins in the back of her eyes good enough.  At her last eye appointment at Primary's....her eyes were mature and her ROP was diminishing....the doctor told me that she for sure was going to need glasses before she was 2, but they wouldn't know if she was going to be far sighted or near sighted until she was a little older.  At the appointment today, the doctor told me that most everybody is a little far-sighted, but she was really really far-sighted.  He said that she has a risk of going cross-eyed and that I really needed to watch for it.  If that happened, she might need surgery.  He set us an appointment to see him in 6 months to check her eyes again.  At that appointment, he said, if her eyes were still straight, she would get glasses.  So my baby girl will have glasses at 1 and a half.

Next was the nutritionist, she was impressed with how well baby is growing.  And after assessing her, she told me that I need to work with her on eating more solids.  She chokes on everything, and she really only eats baby food and drinks a bottle.  She told me she should be experimenting with more solids and learning how to move food from side to side in her mouth until it's all chewed before swallowing....and that will help her not choke.  She put a dissolveable puff thing in baby's mouth and watched what she did with it.  Baby struggled a little bit.  She suggested some things to help her learn that she needs to move the food from side to side in her mouth.....like giving her a sucker, but holding the stick and moving in side to side....things like that.  She signed us up for a feeing clinic, where I'm supposed to go learn how to teach her to eat....but the clinic isn't until January, and I'm sure she'll be eating by then.

Next we saw the RN, who took her weight and measurments.  She weighs 19 pounds now and I think she said 27 inches.  That puts her in the 30% of normal babies her age.  She's not even on the preemie chart anymore!  Yay!

The NNP was next and we just talked about her breathing.  She's still on oxygen right now, just because of the recent hospitalization.  The NNP was actually really happy with how well she was doing considering she was just on CPAP a couple weeks ago.  Makai was playing with her and she was laughing so hard.  We all stopped what we were talking about just to watch them...it was so cute.  The NNP didin't really have much to say except that she's really impressed with how well baby's doing, and that she'd be off oxygen in no time.  She told me not to stress that she's still on it....she'll grow and her weak little lungs would grow too.  She was super nice!

When we got back to the waiting room after meeting with the NNP, everyone had gone home.  All the parents and the other preemies were done and gone....and we still had one more person to see. Literally, the first ones there and the last to leave.

The last person we had to see was the hearing specialist.  She tried to do a hearing test on baby Katea, but was unable to get an accurate reading because she said baby Katea had too much wax in her ears.  She took us to this sound-proof room to do another test, but same thing.  She was suspecting there was fluid in her ears or something.  I told her I had an appointment with baby Katea's pediatrician in a couple weeks and she just requested that I have him take the wax out of her ears and check for ear infections....and then I have to take baby Katea back to see her in a couple months.

Finally, after meeting with all those doctors and getting all that information, we were done.  Almost 5pm.  Baby Katea was exhausted and knocked out from all the action and me and Makai were starving so on the way home we stopped and got us something to eat and we just ate in the car and talked.  Love my big helper....and my little miracle....and all my kids!  :)

Good job baby Katea, you're amazing! 

The bubble surrounding my Dad

My sisters and I joke that there's some sort of spiritual bubble around my dad, protecting him.  We joke about it, but it really is true!

There have just been so many times, that things should have happened or he should have been hurt, or hurt a lot worse than he is........but he isn't.  Like, for example, the 4-wheeler accident he had with my nephew Tani a few months ago.  He was thrown through a barbed wire fence so hard that he broke the wires in half.....and all that happened was scratches on him...pretty deep scratches, but with some stitches they healed quickly.  Tani should have been hurt so much worse than he was....or even killed, but my dad protected him.

At work the other day I got a call from my little sister Marie.  She was asking me if I had heard what happened to Dad.  I told her no, that I hadn't heard anything.....she told me that he was in a serious car accident.  His truck was totaled and they thought he broke his back.  Immediately I start crying and panicing.  Marie told me she was on her way to the hospital ER to see him, and that she'd call and keep me updated.  As soon as we hung up the phone, I tried calling my mom....no answer, I called my dad.....no answer, I called my mom again several times.......finally my mom picks up and says, "we're with the doctor right now, we'll call you back"  and then she hangs up on me.  I was freaking out panicing, wondering if he's ok....if he broke his back....if he's paralyzed....wondering how serious he was.  I was going crazy!  I waited for a good half hour (that seemed like a lifetime) and my mom finally called me back.

I answered the phone in a panic and she very calmly says.  He's ok.  That calmed my nerves a little bit and at least I knew he wasn't dead, but I wanted to know what happened.  My mom starts explaining to me the story and then I hear my dad in the background telling her to give him the phone.  When he gets on the phone, I say "Dad, what's going on?  Are you ok?"  He says "Monica, why you cry?  I am fine.  You know my angels always protect me.  You need to have more faith"  I said "Don't ever scare me like that again" and he laughs and says he's sorry.  I told him that Marie told me he might have broken his back....and he laughs again and tells me he's fine.

He went on to tell me what happened.  He was driving in the left lane of a two lane street and the person on his right side decides he wants to go to the gas station on the left hand side of the street so he just cuts in front of my dad to turn left from the right lane.  My dad was going too fast to stop...and he slammed into the vehicle.  Both cars were totaled.  Two ambulances were called and both my dad and the guy that caused the accident were transported to the hospital.  My dad kept saying to me that the guy who he hit was next door and he hopes that he's ok.  He kept saying, "man Monica...I hit him hard, I hope he's ok"...  That's the kind of guy my dad is.  Always thinking about others, and putting others before himself.  I asked him if he's in pain and he said no, but he's a little sore....then he tells me that he's trying to make the doctors hurry up because he needed to get out of there so he could go and get ready for the BYU game that night.  I laughed, but he totally wasn't joking.  This weekend is general conference, so he starts to tell me how him and my mom are planning on taking all the grandkids that are over 8 to the conference center to watch it.  I keep telling him that he needs to take it easy, that he's probably feeling fine right now, but he'll probably be so sore tomorrow, and he probably won't want to do anything.  He again tells me he's fine. The doctor came back in and was asking my dad some questions, so my mom came back on the phone.

She tells me she has no idea how he is ok.  The truck is completely smashed and it's a miracle that he's not hurt more severely.  My mom is a nurse and she was actually working that day.  When the ER got his information, they called her to tell her that her husband was in a car accident and he was in an ambulance enroute to the ER.  That was how my mom found out.  She finished up what she was doing and went and met him in the ER.  When they were ready to discharge him, my mom called my little brother to go pick him up and take him home....because she had to go back to work.  She told my dad to rest and to take it easy. 

My dad walked out of there like he wasn't just in a serious accident.  He did break his back, but it was just a hairline fracture....which was such a blessing.  He left the hospital with my brother and they went straight to Chuck-A-Rama because he was hungry.  He did go to the BYU game that night, and took the grandkids to conference that weekend.  He's a trooper.  He truly has angels surrounding him, protecting him, watching over him to keep him safe.  He is blessed.  We are blessed.

All better.....mostly

Wow, as soon as her little lung sacs decided to pop open, and stop collapsing, her oxygen need decreased so fast!  She went from being on high flow at 6 1/2L to being on the regular nasal canula at only 1L overnight! 

Last night she managed to pull out her NJ tube (even with socks covering her hands) and the doctors told me that if she didn't eat and keep anything down by midnight, they'd have to put it back in.  I tried feeding her 4 ounces at about 8pm and almost immediatly after, she started coughing and she threw it all back up on me.  A couple hours later, we tried again, but we lessed the amount....I only gave her 2 ounces.  She did so much better and kept it down and slowly we gave her a little bit more.  By the time midnight came around she had eaten and kept down 8 ounces!  Yay!

She was awake and playful and and sitting up and almost back to her happy self.  Her oxygen needs had decreased so much that they stopped the continuous albuterol.  Since she didn't have the NJ tube anymore, they stopped the sedation.  She was like 100% better, and I could finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.  4 days at Riverton and 5 days at Primary's and she was finally getting better!

In the rounds that morning, they gave me the good news that we'd get to move to the infant floor.  I was worried that we'd have to share a room with someone else, since that's what happened the last time she was admitted to Primary's...but we got lucky because they gave us a single room!  Yay!  The infant floor nurse and tech came in to do her assessment and to give us the run down of the floor.  I asked how much longer we had to be there, and she told me until baby was completely off oxygen.  I kindof laughed at that because I totally didn't believe it.  I explained to her that I'm used to having her on oxygen, she's had it pretty much her whole life.  I'm comfortable with her going home on oxygen....and I knew she would have to....I've been here before, and I know there's no way she'll be completely off oxygen for a while.  She told me she'd go and talk with the charge nurse about it, but usually their policy is for the kids to be completely off oxygen before discharge.

Baby started to get really irritated as the night went on, and I wasn't sure what she wanted.  She didn't want to eat, her diaper was already changed, she didn't want to watch tv, she didn't want to be held.  I'd actually never seen her act like that before and I didn't know what to do.  I always remember when we were young, my dad would always tell us that if we didn't feel good, we should take a shower/bath and it would make us feel better.  I immediately thought about that and I asked them if I could give her a bath.  They brought all the bath stuff and I gave her a bath.  I was hoping it would make her tired and that she'd be able to get some sleep.  The bath calmed her down a little bit, but she still had such a big attitude.  She was in such a bad mood and just not being herself.  I thought that maybe she was just sick and tired of being in the hospital.  I know I was, and she probably was too.  I pushed the nurse call light and when she came in I asked if there was any way we could go home already.  I knew it was a long shot, but it doesn't hurt to ask, right?!  The nurse was super hesitant, and really surprised that I was even asking.....but I explained to her that I'm fine, she's breathing ok now, she's been on oxygen her whole life so it's nothing new to me....we both didn't want to be there anymore, and frankly they weren't doing anything more for her than I already do at home.  She told me to wait that she would go and talk to the charge and the pediatrician on the floor and ask them if we could go home.

About an hour later the pediatrician came into our room.  She told me she didn't feel comfortable letting us go home considering that baby just barely got out of the ICU that morning and just last night she was still on high flow.  I got it, I totally understood that....but just knowing my daughter, I knew that she was better...I knew that she was ok, and I just hoped by some small miracle it would have been a yes.  :(  She told me that if baby slept good that night and didn't de-sat or need to be turned up....we could go home in the morning.  I was ok with that.  I had no other choice.

So the pediatrician leaves and I'm sitting there with my super anory daughter....acting all irritated and out of character.  I couldn't put my finger on what was bothering her, and then I realized that she was still in the little crib.  She is such a diva and refuses to sleep in the hospital cribs, she likes the big beds.   I went out and asked the nurse if they could bring in a big bed to see if that would help.  Seriously, the minute the big bed came in she started smiling and bouncing her little body......little stinker, she didn't want the crib. Hahaha

I climbed into bed with her and we both fell asleep watching cartoons.  Thank you baby girl for being so picky LOL, because that meant I didn't have to sleep in the uncomfortable recliner....I got to sleep on the bed......with my princess.  :)

The next morning came and I can't believe we both slept the whole night...even when the nurse came in to do her vitals, neither one of us woke up. LOL.  Overnight they were able to turn her down to 1/2 liter of oxygen which the pediatrician was so happy about and she was totally ok with sending us home that morning.  YAY!!

We went home with triple the dose of the flowvent steriod, the referral to a pulmonologist that she'll now need to see on a regular basis, the permission to give her albuterol as needed instead of only every 4 hours....and the need to be back on oxygen. 

During this whole hospitalization I've been told several different times by several different medical professionals that this is probably something I'll have to be dealing with for a while...at least until her lungs get stronger.  But it's ok.  I hate seeing her suffer, but she's strong and as long as we have to deal with this we will.  She always bounces back!   

September Instagram

Over the hump! Yay!

She showed major improvement over the past couple days!

On day 4 at Primarys, they were able to wein her down to 10L @ 55%....she still was on the continuous albuterol and they just kept her sedated and sleeping.  They don't want her to pull out her NJ tube, especially since her IV went bad and if she pulled it out, they'd have to try and find another vein so they could give her fluids.  She was out of it pretty much all day long.

I took advantage of her sleeping so much and ran home and picked up my kids from school.  I had scheduled a sibling class for them at the hospital and I thought I'd take them out to lunch before we headed up to it.  My kids are so great.  They are all patient and loving and they understand that baby needs me.  They pray every day, every prayer for her and everytime I walk into the house after I've been gone they ALWAYS run to me screaming "mommy, mommy" and they jump all over me giving me hugs and kisses.  All 3 of them do that and I absolutely LOVE it!  I have such great kids!  :)

The sibling class was awesome, and I'm so glad I took them.  The social worker took us into a room and explained everything medical that is happening to their sister.  She had little dolls there and she showed them how to do an IV, and what it's for.  How the oxygen works, what the monitors measure and what it means when they beep.  She let them ask any questions they wanted and she answered them so that they could understand.  It was very helpful and I think they really enjoyed it.

After the class was done, she gave each of them one of the dolls and some markers and told them they could draw faces on the dolls.  This was Makai's.......LOL.....as soon as I saw it I started laughing.  Can you say UTAH fan??!!  LOL

We went in and visited with baby Katea for a little bit after the class, but she was sleeping and my kids got bored.  I had to think of a plan B so they wouldn't start touching things they weren't supposed to, so I took them to the 3rd floor to the awesome playroom they have up there to let them play.  They were there for quite a while just playing and drawing and making different crafts.  I left them there with the volunteer staff for a minute while I went to check on baby Katea and when I got to her room, Gramma Kesa and Grampa Kina were there with her.....baby Katea was awake and being held by Gramma.  There were no smiles from her though LOL.

In that picture above, they were trying a different high flow canula....I think they said it was an adult one....they thought it might stay in her nose better....that only lasted like 30 minutes and they went right back to the one she had been using.

By that night they had her down to 6 1/2L @ 40%.  She had finally gotten over the hump and was on her way to getting better!  Yay!  I had high hopes of her getting to move to the infant floor, but unfortunatly it's not going to happen today.  Her oxygen levels are ok, but she's got to be able to eat and keep her food down.  She hasn't had food in her stomach for so long that the little amounts they've tried to feed her, she's thrown right back up.  She'll get it though, I bet we'll get to move to the floor tomorrow!  :)

Good job baby girl....you're taking steps in the right direction....my little fighter, I love you!

Just get over that hump....please!

4 days at Riverton hospital and 2 days so far at Primary's.....no real improvement.  Last night in the middle of the night, she woke up when they came in to give her albuterol and was super irritated.  The sedation must have worn off and she was so mad.  She was screaming, I could see it in her eyes, but no sounds were coming out I couldn't hear a sound because of that big mask that was covering her face.  She was starving because they hadn't fed her in almost 72 hours....and one of the only things she finds comfort in is this little blanket toy that has little ribbons that stick out the sides of it.  She likes to like on the little ribbons and it calms her down.  Well, she had her little blanket in her hands, but because of the mask covering her mouth, she wasn't able to lick the ribbons and she was getting super frustrated.  She would keep bringing it up to her mouth, her hand would hit the mask and she would scream and cry harder.   :(  They have to take the mask off to give her the albuterol treatments, and when they went to put it back on her after her treatment, she fought hard.  She was screaming and pushing them away with her hands and feet, and she was moving her head back and forth so they couldn't get it on her.  They were all surprised at how strong she was.....because even with 2 of them in there, they still couldn't get it back on.

The resident came in and said that because of how irritated she was, and because she obviously wasn't tolerating it, that they would just try to put her back on high flow and give her a break from the CPAP for a while.  She went back to high flow on 12L @ 80%.....that just sounded so much worse to me.  From 6L to 12L.  They up'd her sedation medication in hopes of helping her calm back down and rest, and because they still weren't going to feed her.  Because her mouth wasn't covered anymore, she was able to lick the ribbons on her little blanket and that with the increased sedation helped her to go back to sleep.  Poor baby.

While she was sleeping I asked the nurse why they weren't feeding her.  She hadn't eaten for 3 days and I know that part of her reason for being so irritated and miserable was because she was starving.  She went and talked to the doctor and he came in and told me that the reason she is not able to eat yet is because she hasn't improved her respiratory status at all since we got there.  There was a real possibility that she would need to be intubated and if that were to happen, she can't have any food in her stomach.  He explained to me that usually by now, the virus would have already hit it's peak and would she would be getting better by now, but because of her CLD and her weak lungs, she just hasn't made it over the hump yet.  He assurred me that she would and that as soon as she did, she'd get better quickly, it's just waiting until she gets over the hump.  He told me that they might be able to put an NJ tube in, which means that they would pump food directly into her intestine...passing her stomach.  She had to have an NJ tube when she was in the NICU, so I already knew what that was.  I told him yes, that I would love that if we could feed her.  She won't get the sensation that she's full because it won't be in her stomach, but at least her little body will get the nutrients that it needs.

They came in and put the NJ tube in her and then did an x-ray to check placement.  The tube was wound up a few times in her little stomach, but the end was down into the intestines....so they got it on the first try, yay!  Baby did not like it, but then again...who would like someone shoving a tube through your nose straight down to your intestine?   I was so glad she was finally getting some food though! 

Baby girl with her NJ tube, back on high flow, licking the ribbon of her blanket :)

In the afternoon when she was sleeping, she started to de-sat again.  She hung around the low 80's for a while so they ended up turning her high flow up to 15L @ 60%.  They were trying a different high flow machine than the one she was on when she first got to Primarys....this one had the ability to go up to 20L....but the nurse told me that if she still de-satted on the 15L, they would either move her back to CPAP again, or they would intubate her so that she could get some rest.

Right after the nurse told me that, the doctor came in to talk to me.  He told me that she is showing signs of chronic asthma, which they can't technically diagnose in children under 2 years old, so they called it retractive airway.  What they are seeing is that she keept having "asthma attacks" and periods where she coughs so hard that she stops taking breaths, so she's not keeping her sats up.  He told me they were doing everything they can not to have to intubate her, but she's just not showing any signs of improvement yet.  In the asthma attacks, her air sacks are collapsing and she's not strong enough to re-open them on her own....and it was taking a lot for them to help her re-open them. :(  On top of that, she has a lot of junk/fluid in her lungs...so they started her on Lasix to help her get rid of some of the excess fluid.  He told me that in chronic asthma patients when they have these same kinds of attacks, they do a continuous albuterol drip that helps keep the broncials dialated and open.  They wanted to try it on her.  They've been giving her albuterol every 2 hours and it seems to be helping her so much....but it seems to wear off quickly.  So she does good right when she gets it, then it wears off and she de-sats and so they give her another treatement and she sounds better, but it takes her a long time to recover her sats.  It's a vicious cycle.

I left for the shift change because the ICU is closed from 7-8pm and when I came back, she was down to 12L @ 60% which was awesome.  The albuterol must have been working for them to be able to turn her down 3L in that hour.  She was satting good, she was getting fed through the NJ tube, she was sedated, calm and sleeping.  I was happy that she was finally getting some good rest.  Hopefully that would allow her little body to repair itself and she could get over the hump and start getting better!

Happy Birthday my little Miracle!

Baby slept really good for a couple hours, but when the nurse came in to do her vitals, she startled her and baby started coughing.  She coughed and coughed and coughed for like 10 minutes straight.  Her sats obviously dropped way down so they turned her up to 8L @ 100%, but that didn't make a difference.  Her sats kept dropping and dropping and it went as low as 53, so they had to bag her to bring her back up.  :'(  It took her a really long time to recover from that and they had her on the very highest setting for high flow and she was still only satting 84-87%....so they had to move her to the CPAP.  She just couldn't do it, she needed the pressure to help her keep her lungs open.  That broke my heart.  That was the first time since the NICU that she has needed that much help.  And even though we had already been in the hospital for 5 days, she was not showing any signs of improvement at all.

Baby girl back on CPAP

On the CPAP, they were able to turn her back down to 6L and a 45% fio2.  She's starving because they won't let her eat.....she does have the IV fluids running in her, but that's not satisfying her.....she's so grabby and feisty and mad at the big mask that has taken over her face.  She wouldn't calm down so they're keeping her sedated.  She's completely out of it.

Today is September 26th.....her actual birthday!

As I look back on this past year, I can't help but thank my Heavenly Father for her.  She has been through so much for such a little person, but she's so amazing!  Her personality, her fight, her strength, her cute little face, her big brown eyes, everything about her is a blessing to me.  I have been through a lot right along with her, but she makes be a better and stronger person.  She's definitely my little hero!  This is not the way I wanted to celebrater her birthday, but I am so glad that she's such a fighter!

The social worker in the PICU found out that it was her birthday and she made her this cute birthday sign and gave her this stuffed goat from Hunchback of Notre Dame.   

Aunty Tina came and visited and spent most of the day with me while baby was sedated and sleeping.  And then that afternoon, Grampa Kina came and brought me lunch and spent some time with us.  She woke up a little when he was there and it was so cute....he stood over the side of his bed and she reached for him so he picked her up....tubes, equipement and all!

She stayed on the CPAP all day, and they kept her pretty sedated.  I was lucky enough to be in one of the two PICU rooms that had a couch bed instead of just a chair.  I stayed by her side the whole time.  I hated that she had to be sedated, but they could not bring a hospital bed into that room, so it was a good thing she was out of it so that she could get some rest.  She didn't really make any progress for good or bad that day, she just remained about the same. 

My mom came up and spent the afternoon with me and then Tea brought the rest of my kids up that night to visit.  They came with birthday hats and all.  Tala girl brought her a stuffed unicorn for her birthday and she totally made me laugh. 

Me:  Tala, what's his name?

Tala:  Cake

Me:  His name is cake?

Tala:  Yes mom, look at the candle (pointing to his horn)

Hahahahahahaha

Thanks Tala girl, I needed that laugh today....you little smarty pants!  :)

The kids got to come into her room to sing Happy Birthday to her....she woke up a little bit to hear them sing to her!

One year ago today was the scariest day of my life, but it was also one of my most blessed!  This little miracle was given to me and I've never been the same since.  She's amazing, I say it all the time....and it's true!  Thank you so much for all your prayers, thoughts, comments, and all your love and support!  She's in the ICU right now on a breathing machine.......and I've been crying all day long, but not for her.  I found out today that her little NICU buddy became and angel today.  :'(  No matter how hard your think your situation is, someone else's is worse.  Hold your loved ones tight and be grateful for what and who you've been blessed with.  My heart aches for little Luke's family.  It's your birthday today my little miracle and it's a happy one because you're still here with me!  I love you baby Katea!