"Begin today and write in it your goings and comings, your deepest thoughts, your achievements and your failures, your associations and your triumphs, your impressions and your testimonies. I promise you that if you will keep your journals and records, they will indeed be a source of great inspiration to you, each other, your children, your grand-children and others throughout the generations. Remember, the Savior chastised those who failed to record important events." --President Spencer W. Kimball

March 29, 2011

When it comes to Ma......Are we selfish??

It's been another trying week for our family, Ma has been in the hospital undergoing several surgeries.  Not too long ago she got really sick.  Tea took her to the hospital and the Dr. told us that we need to keep a close eye on her, the Dr. was telling us that it's not uncommon for people her age to develop blood clots in their bodies, because of the lack of movement.  She told us that blood clots are very dangerous and if one develops in her body, and it goes to her heart....she would die.

Last week Sunday we all went to church as a family.  Ova told Ma to stay home and rest, because the week before that when we got home from church, Ma got really really sick.  If you know her, she's a very stubborn woman and she insisted she go to church with us.  We loaded her wheelchair into the van and helped her get in.  Sacrament meeting is first, it was a very nice program.  Right after sacrament meeting, Ma asked us to take her home.  She said she was having pain in her feet and that she needed to go home and lay down so she could elevate her feet.  We sent our kids to class and Ova and I helped her into the van and headed home.  I stayed home with Ma while Ova went back to church.  I was cleaning up the house because the whole family was going to come over for Sunday dinner.  Ma didn't want to lay down in her room so I brought her a blanket and she laid on the couch in the living room just watching me clean....she kept telling me she's sorry, that if her feet didn't hurt so bad she'd get up and help me.  I love her!  When I was done cleaning I went and sat on the floor by the couch rubbing her legs......Lautala was crawling all over the place making both of us laugh.....then she crawled over to us and started rubbing Ma's legs with me.  If there is one thing that I'm so grateful for, it's the fact that my kids are so close with this old lady.  They know her and are so close to her....she's taught them, read to them, yelled at them.....it's such a blessing!  Ma and I sat there and talked until the rest of the family got back from church.  I love talking to her.  She's the one and only person that I feel comfortable talking Tongan to because even though I probably don't make any sense at all, she tries to understand me and doesn't make me feel stupid for trying.

Ova's little brothers Po & TiTonga and his little family were in town for Lauren's surgery, so we took the opportunity to get together as a family for dinner that night.  My husband is an awesome cook!  Pretty much everything he makes is super delicious....and I'm not bias, it really is!  hahaha  He wanted to go all out for Ma and for his brothers and their families so he made feke, ika faka paku/lolo'i, talo Tonga, shrimp, lu pulu, lu sipi.....and his parent's brought lo'i ho'osi, sapa sui, and ota ika......we had TONS of food and to top it off Tina made two of her delicious cakes for dessert.  We all ate dinner and sat around and talked with each other for a while....we laughed as Sau was playing with all the little kids.  Just enjoying family time.

That night after dinner, Ma's legs were still hurting her......we were worried that it was the blood clots the Dr. had told us about so we rushed her to the hospital.  Tea figured she'd be there over night so she grabbed the stuff she needed to stay overnight.  Sure enough it was a good thing she went to the hospital, because just the thing the Dr had warned us about was happening.  Her leg was full of blood clots which was causing all the pain.  They did a little minor operation right when she got there, just trying to restore the blood flow to her leg.  They had explained that if the little procedure would work, she wouldn't have to have major surgery......well, the procedure didn't work.  They let her sleep that night and they scheduled her for surgery the next morning.  The Dr. (who is so awesome) told us that when they did the catscan, they found an anurism in her leg which was bleeding out and causing the clotting.  The operation she was going to have in the morning was called a bypass surgery, where the insert a tube in her leg and it's supposed to help keep the blood flowing.  The surgery was supposed to be anywhere from 2-6 hours......it took the full 6 hours.  After the surgery, they let Ma rest for a while.....she was exausted because she hadn't been able to sleep because of the pain.  They monitored her that whole day just to make sure she was ok.  The next day on Tuesday when they were checking her vitals....one of the things they had been doing was checking that there was a pulse in her feet.  Hearing the pulse through her feet told them that the blood was flowing correctly.  Well, on Tuesday morning, the day after the operation....there was no pulse in her foot.  That was not a good sign.  The Dr gave us our options and we decided that the best thing would be for her to go through another operation.  Tea didn't have the heart to break it to her that she was going to have to have another surgery....so she left the job to Ova and I.  It was just us in the room.....I was rubbing one leg and Ova was rubbing the other and we were just talking to her....and then Ova broke her the news.  She started crying and she kept saying over and over that she's old already, to just leave her alone.  She hates it when they put her to sleep, and she didn't want to go through that again.  I was fighting to keep my tears back and I just sat there as Ova talked to her and tried to comfort her.  So many times she's been sick, and so many times she's asked us to just leave her....she misses her husband a lot.....but we can't.....we can't picture our lives without this wonderful old lady and we'll do whatever we can to keep her here with us.  Is that being selfish?  One of my good friends said something very comforting to me during this whole ordeal....she said "We are a selfish people.  It's the Lord's will whatever happens, but don't feel bad for being selfish.  Anyone in your situation would want her to stay here on Earth"  those words were exactly what I needed to hear at that time.  The surgery they were going to do was going to be exactly the same surgery she had the day before.  They were going to re-open the same wounds and see what went wrong.  This time the surgery was only supposed to be a couple hours, but they took her back at around 6pm and she didn't get out until almost midnight.  We all sat in the waiting room just waiting for the Dr to come and tell us the news.  When he finally came, he said the surgery had been successful.  The reason they couldn't find a heart beat in her foot was because her leg started clotting again and the blood clots had clogged the tube they put in.  The surgery took so long because they wanted to make sure they got all the clots out.  Now was just the waiting game to see if this time they would be able to find a pulse in her foot.  Thankfully they could....and it's been beating pretty strongly ever since that second surgery.  They have her on blood thinners to help avoid the clotting....and she's been in the hospital trying to recover since then.  She's actually been up and walking these past couple days, exercising her legs....she's such a strong woman!  They were going to let her come home today, but there were a few things that were concerning them and they wanted to keep her over night again so they can monitor her.  The Dr said hopefully she'll get to come home tomorrow.  Until then, we've been posted at the hospital.  Actually, the hospital has been FULL of visitors!  You can definetly tell that she is very very loved!  Her grandkids flew in from Frisco to spend time with her and she even had a grand-daughter fly in all the way from New Zealand just for a couple days to see her.  She is very loved and she has a lot of people thinking and praying for her.

The Dr did tell us that when they did the catscan, they saw an anurism in the other leg also....that side just hasn't bled out yet.  He did tell us that it would be so much better for her to have the surgery before it bleeds out and starts clotting, but she needs to heal from these surgries first.  We'll just have to tackle that obstacle when it comes!

Ma right out of the 2nd surgery

Ma a couple days after surgery

Ma a week after surgery

Get well soon Ma!!


Ane said...

Awe, I totally feel for u all on this subject. It's always hard to picture life without the one's you love. Love this post and the depth of the topic, I know I am definitely selfish in good and bad ways. Love and Prayers for Ma and your family!

shaunita said...

I agree with your friend. It may be selfish, but who wouldn't want to try to keep someone wonderful around--even if it is only a little while longer? I hope you get to enjoy having her with you as long as possible.


Like I said before on FB...You are doing a great job, and anyone going thru that would do what you guys are doing. Love you and hope we can get together soon, afterall you need a break. :)

Melissa said...

I am glad that all went well with her two surgeries. What a woman to have to go through all of that. She is a very blessed woman to have all of you with her. You will be greatly blessed for all you do too.
Love ya!

Brian N Sela Misinale said...

Well keep her in our prayers! Luv yah!