Quality Time

I took my boys today to visit their baby sister.  We usually only get to take them once a week, and today was the lucky day!  Everytime my boys visit baby Katea, they pull their chairs up to her bedside and sing primary songs to her.  They can sit for the longest time trying to whisper/sing to her so they don't disturb the other babies....I love it!  The first time they did it was when she was still in pod D....I remember sitting there crying as I was listening and watching them, they're very musically talented like their dad and they LOVE to sing, especially Tongan church songs.  I'm glad they share that love with their baby sister Katea.  Today After I picked Makai up from school, we went to the library and he picked 5 Halloween books to read to his baby sister.....I thought that was such a great idea, and a great way for him to spend time with his sister while getting his daily reading minutes done. 

He was cute reading to her because he was trying to hold the books up high enough so that she could see the pictures while he was reading.  Great brother-sister quality time!  My mom was with us too and she kept Mone occupied by reading to him.  It was great and kept them occupied the whole time we were there so they didn't even have time to start getting into things.  I can sit at the hospital with my baby girl for hours and hours and not even notice the time....but my boys get a little restless and bored after being there for too long.  I've figured out that short, sweet visits are the best for them.  Just long enough for them to see her and sing or read to her is the limit.

My mom took us to Leatherby's for dinner during the break, and for my birthday.  I'm grateful for her, she's been a huge help and strength for me since all this happened.

After dinner, my mom went home and me and my boys went back to the hospital.  The 830pm cares are my most favorite cares because that's when we get to weigh her and see how much she's gained.  Today she actually lost 20 grams so she's back down to 2lb 5oz.  During the week I just help with the cares and then I have to hurry and leave so that I can get the van to Ova so he won't be late for work.  I hate that he works graves.....and that we only have one vehicle :(

I found out today that baby Katea has adrenal insufficiency (the ability to stabilize her blood pressure) so they had to put her back on the hydrocortizone.  Her potassium levels are high and her sodium levels are low. They said those are normal for preemies her age and she'll grow out of it.  Her lungs are still struggling and they told me she has BPD which is bronchial pulmonary disorder....or big words for cronic lung disease.  They said that also happens to a lot of preemies and hopefully she'll grow out of it when she gets older.  I did get a HUGE bit of good news though....they did another brain scan to check for brain bleeds and it came back normal again!  She won't get another scan until she's leaving the hospital because the likelyhood that she'll develop brain bleeds now is very very unlikely!  I'm glad that there's always a little good news with the bad....it makes coping a little easier and gives me something positive to focus on.

Today was a very emotional day for me....I'm not really sure why, but all day I've felt sad, tired and overwhelmed.  I don't think I'm balancing my life very well right now and it's catching up to me.  I feel like I need to be in a million places at once, and I just can't....and it makes me sad.  I wish I could split myself so I can be at home with my older 3, and at the hospital with my baby all the time.  I'm not getting enough sleep, I'm stressing out pretty much all the time about my baby's progress, bills, money, my kids.....my leg still is numb with sharp shooting pains since my C-section.....and on and on.  I usually feel like I'm ok, like I'm strong and I can handle everything.  Today was just a bad day.  I miss Ova.  I know I put a lot of pressure on him wanting him around all the time, but he just makes me feel so much better.  I broke down in front of my boys on the way home from the hospital.....they kept asking why and I really didn't have an answer....then Makai said "is it just because you're a cry baby?"  I said, "yes Makai, it is"  :)