No Words

Pictures say a thousand words, I've found that to be true in this case.  There are just no words for how I felt this day.  It was definitely the most emotionally sad and draining day of my life.  Ova and I have talked many times about how our biggest fear is having to bury a child.  That fear was realized on October 3rd, 2011 when we buried our sweet baby Cindy's little body.  It was almost surreal, like it wasn't really happening, like I was dreaming it.....I wish it was just a dream.  I think about her and that day all the time, and sometimes I feel like it hasn't hit me...all that has happened.  The day after the funeral services....Ova and I went to the gravesite of our little angel.  We both sat on the grass in silence staring at her teddy bears and flowers that were left for her from the day before.  I must have cried for an hour.  I can't believe I buried my daughter.  Even though I know I'll see her again and get to hold her and kiss her someday.....I do wish she was here.....is that wrong of me??

To my precious baby Cindy Ki'Hevani:

You are my angel baby

and that I know is true

God is holding you now

And listening to you cue

You are in Heaven looking down

watching mommy cry

I really wish you were here

But I know that this is not good-bye!

After my daughter was buried, I walked around to thank everybody for coming and supporting my husband and I.  We really are grateful and overwhelmed at how blessed and loved we are by so many.  I walked over to this group of friends who were standing together under a tree.  I got really emotional when I was hugging them because believe it or not, 5 of the 6 of us in this picture has had to bury a child.  So in their own way, they knew exactly what I was going through that day.  It's so hard, but in the days since the burial....I've gotten texts, calls and facebook messages from these ladies, just giving me hope and telling me that slowly but surely everything will be ok.  I'm grateful and blessed!